Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops - Jen Campbell

Judul: Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops
Penulis: Jen Campbell
Penerbit: Constable and Robinson, 2012
Format: Ebook, 93 hlm

Sinopsis:

This Sunday Times Bestseller is a miscellany of hilarious and peculiar bookshop moments:
“Can books conduct electricity?”
“My children are just climbing your bookshelves—that's ok... isn't it?”

A John Cleese Twitter question ['What is your pet peeve?'], first sparked the 'Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops' blog, which grew over three years into one bookseller's collection of ridiculous conversations on the shop floor.

From 'Did Beatrix Potter ever write a book about dinosaurs?' to the hunt for a paperback which could forecast the next year's weather; and from 'I've forgotten my glasses, please read me the first chapter' to'Excuse me... is this book edible?'

This full-length collection illustrated by the Brothers McLeod also includes top 'Weird Things' from bookshops around the world.

Miris. Itulah yang saya rasakan setelah membaca buku ini. Seharusnya ini adalah buku humor, tapi saya tak bisa menepis rasa prihatin yang melekat di benak saya. Saya sampai bertanya-tanya dalam hati, “Ini buku beneran berdasarkan kisah nyata?” Sebab… masa iya gitu lho, ada segitu banyaknya hal-hal aneh (tepatnya, bodoh) yang dikatakan para customer di toko buku? Kalau memang isi buku ini sesuai kenyataan dan nggak ada bagian yang dikarang-karang, maka lebih baik Abang buang saja Hayati di rawa-rawa, Bang. Hayati sudah nggak kuwat~ T.T

Misalnya nih…

CUSTOMER: Hi, I’d like to return this book, please.
BOOKSELLER: Certainly. Do you have the receipt?
CUSTOMER: Here.
BOOKSELLER: Erm, you bought this book at Waterstone’s.
CUSTOMER: Yes.
BOOKSELLER: ...we’re not Waterstone’s.
CUSTOMER: But you’re a bookshop.
BOOKSELLER: Yes, but we’re not Waterstone’s.
CUSTOMER: You’re all part of the same chain.
BOOKSELLER: No, sorry, we’re an independent bookshop.
CUSTOMER: ...
BOOKSELLER: Put it this way, you wouldn’t buy clothes in H&M and take them back to Zara, would you?
CUSTOMER: Well, no, because they’re different shops.
BOOKSELLER: Exactly.
CUSTOMER: ...I’d like to speak to your manager.

(Situ nggak usah ngomong sama manager, sini nomong aja sama Hayati… *asah celurit*)

Atau ini…

CUSTOMER: Which was the first Harry Potter book?
BOOKSELLER: The Philosopher’s Stone.
CUSTOMER: And the second?
BOOKSELLER: The Chamber of Secrets.
CUSTOMER: I’ll take The Chamber of Secrets. I don’t want The Philosopher’s Stone.
BOOKSELLER: Have you already read that one?
CUSTOMER: No, but with series of books I always find they take a while to really get going. I don’t want to waste my time with the useless introductory stuff at the beginning.
BOOKSELLER: The story in Harry Potter actually starts right away. Personally, I do recommend that you start with the first book – and it’s very good.
CUSTOMER: Are you working on commission?
BOOKSELLER: No.
CUSTOMER: Right. How many books are there in total?
BOOKSELLER: Seven.
CUSTOMER: Exactly. I’m not going to waste my money on the first book when there are so many others to buy. I’l take the second one.
BOOKSELLER: ...If you’re sure.
(One week later, the customer returns)
BOOKSELLER: Hi, did you want to buy a copy of The Prisoner of Azkaban?
CUSTOMER: What’s that?
BOOKSELLER: It’s the book after The Chamber of Secrets.
CUSTOMER: Oh, no, definitely not. I found that book far too confusing. I ask you, how on earth are children supposed to understand it if I can’t? I mean, who the heck is that Voldemort guy anyway? No. I’m not going to bother with the rest.
BOOKSELLER: ...

(Saya yakin kalau si bookseller punya tongkat sihir, si customer pasti sudah di-Avada Kedavra. Tujuh kali.)

Dan ini… yang paling bikin saya sedih.

CUSTOMER: Hi, I just wanted to ask: did Anne Frank ever write a sequel?
BOOKSELLER: ........
CUSTOMER: I really enjoyed her first book.
BOOKSELLER: Her diary?
CUSTOMER: Yes, the diary.
BOOKSELLER: Her diary wasn’t fictional.
CUSTOMER: Really?
BOOKSELLER: Yes... She really dies at the end—that’s why the diary finishes. She was taken to a concentration camp.
CUSTOMER: Oh... that’s terrible.
BOOKSELLER: Yes, it was awful.
CUSTOMER: I mean, it’s such a shame, you know? She was such a good writer.

Buku ini terdiri tadi tiga bagian yaitu: Tales From the Edinburgh Bookshop, Tales From Ripping Yarns, dan Weird Things Customers Say in Other Bookshops. Bagian kedua, Tales From Ripping Yarns, menurut saya adalah bagian yang paling menghibur (atau justru paling miris ya?). Ripping Yarns adalah toko buku antik (antiquarian bookshop), yakni toko buku yang menjual buku-buku antik/bekas. Orang-orang yang datang ke toko buku ini sih biasanya para kolektor yang ingin membeli novel-novel klasik edisi pertama (yang harganya bisa selangit), atau novel-novel baru/bekas edisi kolekter yang tidak diproduksi secara massal. Mau cari majalah bekas? Mereka juga menjualnya kok.

Oke, balik ke Ripping Yarns. Beberapa bagian yang menjadi favorit saya:

CUSTOMER: What kind of bookshop is this?
BOOKSELLER: We’re an antiquarian bookshop.
CUSTOMER: Oh, so you sell books about fish.

(Hahaha. Ini antiquarian woy, bukan aquarium. Tapi terserah kamu deh kakak…)

CUSTOMER: Do you have any books on the dark arts?
BOOKSELLER: ...No.
CUSTOMER: Do you have any idea where I could find some?
BOOKSELLER: Why don’t you try Knockturn Alley?
CUSTOMER: Where’s that?
BOOKSELLER: Oh, the centre of London.
CUSTOMER: Thanks, I’ll keep my eyes peeled for it.

(Aduh, ini bookseller iseng bener. ^^)

CUSTOMER: Do you have Philip Pullman’s The Book of Dust?
BOOKSELLER: No, I don’t think a publication date has even been set for that book yet.
CUSTOMER: I know, it’s just I thought you might already have a copy, considering you’re an antiquarian bookshop.
BOOKSELLER: ...Antiquarian means old. We don’t have books, you know, from the future.
CUSTOMER: Ah.

(#tepokjidat #jidatnyacustomer)

Jadi, kira-kira begitulah isi buku ini. Tak banyak yang bisa saya bahas tentang buku ini sebab isinya ya gitu-gitu doang. Ada jokes yang bikin ngakak, ada yang jayus, tapi bagi saya malah banyakan jokes yang bikin miris. Jumlah halamannya cukup tipis dan serta terdapat ilustrasi di dalamnya. Jika ingin mencari bacaan yang santai dan lumayan menghibur, buku ini bisa dijadikan pilihan.